DONOVAN McNABB “McSNATCH AND McNABB” Psychologist appointment, December 2005. “How have you been, Donovan? I haven’t seen you in a while.” “Thanks for squeezing me in, doc. I really appreciate it.” “Don’t mention it. Anything for my Pro Bowl patient. You look distraught. What’s on your mind?” “Uh, how can I explain? Where do I start?” “The last time I saw you, you and your Eagle teammates were flying high. You were about to play in the Super Bowl?” “Yeah, that’s right, but lately, times are tough in Philadelphia. You see, we lost our All-Pro star wide receiver, T.O., for the entire year due to conduct detrimental to the team. Then we lost eight of the last ten games and are out of the playoffs. I am injured and need surgery. The team is in disarray. The fans are angry and upset. Seemingly, one minute we’re challenging for the world title and the next we’re fighting for our jobs and our survival.” “It sounds serious, Donovan.” “It is. I’ve given my all to the team, the fans and the city of Philadelphia. I am physically and mentally spent. We played in the NFC championship game in 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004 as well as Super Bowl thirty-nine last year, but the fans and media are still not satisfied. They’re calling sports talk radio AM 610 WIP and demanding action.” “They’re making demands on WIP?” “Yeah, on WIP (Win In Philadelphia)!” “They’re calling for Coach ‘ABC’ Andy Reid’s resignation. Some want Terrell to never appear in an Eagles uniform and some are calling in to reinstate him no matter how much a distraction he has become. Some are even saying I faked an injury so I can say I wasn’t responsible for our failures. Now they started criticizing our star running back, Michael ‘East Meets’ Westbrook.” “Wow!” “That’s not all; some guy called in and mocked us.” “Mocked you?” “Yeah, want to hear it?” “Sure” “Music, please.” Every snap you take And every move you make Every pass you throw every step you take We’ll be watching you Every single day And every word you say Every game you play every night you stay We’ll be watching you Oh can’t you see You belong to thee (Philadelphia) How our poor heart aches With every (playoff) loss you take Every move you make Every loss is a break Every smile you make, every claim you stake We’ll be watching you Since you’ve lost, we have an empty trophy case We dream at night, we can only see Lombardi’s face We look around, but it’s you we can’t replace We feel so cold, and long for a taste We keep crying McNabby, please Give us a Super Bowl, we beg you, we’re on our knees. “Donovan, you competed in four straight championship games and the Super Bowl! That in itself is an accomplishment. You and your teammates should be very proud of yourself! So what’s the problem?” “Dr. McGraw, you don’t understand.” “Donovan, please call me Phil.” “OK, Dr. Phil, our fans are confused, angry and upset.” “You play for the Philadelphia Eagles, don’t you?” “Yes” “Isn’t Philadelphia known for the Liberty Bell, the Declaration of Independence, Philadelphia Freedom and the city of brotherly love?” “It’s more like a fight town — Rocky Balboa versus Apollo Creed and the Broad Street Bullies.” “I see, times have changed. Even though you competed in all of the championship games?” “Yeah.” “They sure are rough and tough in Philadelphia!” “Dr. Phil, we lost ’em ALL!” “You didn’t win one game?” “Well, we won the 2004 conference championship game to get to the Super Bowl, but we lost that too. Now everyone in Philly thinks we’re losers.” “Losers? Now Donovan, we must remain in a positive frame of mind.” “OK, doc, we’re nonwinners” “What kind of injury do you have?” “In the first game of the season, I developed a sports hernia, and then a few weeks later I was injured in my chest. Our team doctors said I will need surgery in the off-season, but I could continue to play as long as I could withstand the pain.” “Pain? Surgery? And you still played?” “I gave it my best shot, till I couldn’t go anymore. I would give anything just for a chance to win the Super Bowl. Just one more opportunity. I want it so bad, I would give up all my trophies, awards and accolades just for one more opportunity. Just one, please. I want it so bad, I can taste it!” “Physical injuries are part of the game, Donovan, but once you have your surgery, I’m confident you’ll bounce back even better next year. I’m sure the fans will understand.” “How is your mental health? It concerns me. Tell me about this T.O. guy.” “Terrell Owens, or T.O. as he is known, is an exceptionally gifted athlete. He’s an All-Pro receiver who is intelligent, competitive and charismatic. Simply put, he is one of the best wide receivers in the league, but he makes threats and demands if he feels he isn’t used properly or things don’t go his way.” “So he doesn’t work well under adversity?” “No, he does! He sprained his ankle and fractured his leg several weeks before Super Bowl XXXIX. Everyone from coaches to teammates and doctors felt there was no way he would be able to play in the game, let alone perform the way he did! He was simply fantastic! His performance was unbelievable! He was Superman that day!” “Isn’t that just his competitiveness coming out?” “I am all about competitiveness, doc, but things started going bad last year when T.O. started mouthing off and complaining about the way coach Reid was utilizing him in the offense. Then he started complaining about his $20,000,000 dollar contract. He felt it wasn’t enough money to feed his family.” “Twenty-million! To feed your family? What an ego! I could feed a small nation on that money!” “I agree. If he had said, ‘I want a contract comparable to wideout superstars Randy “Boss” Moss and Marvin “Indiana Jones” Harrison,’ I could agree with him, but he fought with just about everyone — me, coach, and he even got into a physical confrontation with our colorful star linebacker ‘Shade, Color and’ Hugh Douglas. He didn’t think our offense was utilizing his abilities to the fullest, so he made it a point to confront me and coach Reid.” “Did he approach you privately and do it with class?” “Class?” “T.O. thinks class is something you drink champagne from.” “I said class.” “I heard you. Not only did he exercise poor judgment; he also threw a temper tantrum on the sidelines during our nationally televised game. He also made comments to ESPN that Green Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre could do a better job than me. When T.O. played for the San Francisco 49ers, he made a weird move in Dallas. When Terrell scored a touchdown, he ran out to the center of the field and proceeded to dance and stomp upon their famed Cowboy star. A few years later he called their starting quarterback Jeff Garcia gay.” “It sounds like he is very selfish. Doesn’t he know football is a team sport and there is no ‘I’ in team?” “But there are three ‘I’s in Terrell Owens.” “Donovan, there are no ‘I’s in the spelling of Terrell Owens!” “Oh yes there are! Tirrill Owins, as in ‘me, myself and I.’” “Terrell’s actions are inappropriate and offensive!” “Yeah, he’s affectionately known as the terrible one, or terminally obnoxious around Philadelphia. “Well, I think Terrell needs a T.O.!” “Huh?” “A TIMEOUT!” “Doc, his antics are rude and insulting to me, my teammates, our coaches, our fans and the NFL. During one of his sideline tantrums he kept saying to me over and over, in a hushed tone, ‘McSnatch, McSnatch.’ ” “McSnatch? What is McSnatch? Is that supposed to be a crude reference to an Irish woman’s crotch region?” “I don’t know, but it’s quite insulting.” “Donovan, Terrell is a troubled man. He needs help. Anyone ever sit him down and talk to him? Anyone ever explain what is expected of him as a player and teammate?” “You can say that again! Myself, coach Reid and even our owner, Jeffrey ‘Fishing’ Lurie, tried to talk some sense into him.” “What about his agent? Didn’t he say anything to him?” “His agent, Drew ‘Blood’ Rosenhaus? He’s a Shark That Never Sleeps! He’s just as arrogant, egotistical and self-absorbed.” “I see.” “Dr. Phil, what should I do? I understand injuries occur; players come and go, distractions happen, but how can I get our team back to the Super Bowl?” “Donovan, it comes from within. Look inside yourself.” “But doc, I’ve persevered, been patient and remained persistent. What do you mean, look inside yourself?” “Your teammate recognized it.” “Huh?” “Terrell, when he whispered ‘McSnatch.’ ” “McSnatch?” “Yes Donovan, you must grab your opportunity now! Take it now! McSnatch and McNabb it!” I'm Out! Dag McNabb It! Yosemite McSam Copyright 2006 Sunnycrest Publishing